Predlines
Fansided

Nashville Predators Withdrawal: Signs and Symptoms

By Doug Praskach

facebooktwitterreddit

You are a Nashville Predators fan. Let’s be honest, it’s been a long off-season.  We’ve pretty much made it through summer.  The kids are back in school, “Free Agent Frenzy” seems like it was eons ago.  You tell yourself, “I can make it until the season starts.”

You know that’s a lie. This cannot be okay.  How can you live without ANY hockey?  It’s as if there is a huge hole in your heart.  Why does there have to be an offseason in Nashville, let alone anywhere in the NHL?

Then it starts…you find that something just isn’t right with you.  You’re not sure what it is but you’re starting to think it might be from LACK OF NASHVILLE PREDATORS HOCKEY.  The important first step to curing a sickness, a disease such as withdrawal from Predators hockey is to identify the signs and symptoms.  We at PredLines are here to help you with that:

  1. Hives or Rash

One of the first symptoms.  You’ve already tried all of the creams and over the counter stuff. The welts seem to have a bluish hue and seem to be in the shape of a Predator logo. Uh oh, Acute Predatoritis Withdrawalish.  Or, you know, you’re just allergic to seafood…especially octopus. (but certainly not catfish!)

  1. Your wardrobe shrinks

You’ve got a ton of clothes but when you go into the closet in the morning, the only two colors you choose are either Blue or Gold.  You find that you are wearing your Smashville T-shirt under your dress clothes.  You can’t wait to get home from work and put on your #9 Filip Forsberg jersey to just crash. You may even start to sleep in it.  You realize that you’ve actually worn it on Casual Friday for six weeks in a row. You then realize that you’ve actually worn it every DAY for six weeks in a row.

  1. You hallucinate about the Predators

You’re at work, in your cubicle and everyone around you keeps talking about how great summer is.  You just don’t get it.  Your desktop wallpaper is Shea Weber and you find yourself constantly tapping your Roman Josi bobble head on it’s noggin and watching until it stops. Suddenly you look over at the guy in the next cube and it looks like he’s wearing that “Rinne Wall” thing on his head with the gold beard and everything.  “Til October,” he says.

You turn away and Peter Laviolette is standing there, demanding you get back out on the ice.  You hop over the bench and skate out onto the Bridgestone ice.  However, when you bump into your boss and spill his coffee, you realize you were hallucinating, and your boss was really telling you to get back to work.  You…are…losing…it.

  1. Excessive crying

You find yourself constantly depressed.  You don’t know why, but occasionally you just break into tears. You’re just crying all over the place.  Without hockey, you have nothing to look forward to.  No games, no box scores, no fantasy team.  You’re like Sidney Crosby, whining about everything. You cannot stop yourself.  Wipe those tears; the time will pass. It’s only until October. Only until OCTOBER!?!

  1. Extreme Excitement From Every Bit of Predators News

They are building an ice rink downtown for the All-Star Game.  YES, I’ve got to get some skates!  The Predators are wearing Gold Helmets on Saturdays!!  I want one!!  The Predators sign Jack Dougherty. Whoo Hoo! What position does he play again?  Trade rumors??? With WHO?!? When the offseason happens, each piece of news you get is like a crumb to ebb your growing hunger.  It’s because it’s SOMETHING related to hockey.  You find yourself trolling PredLines each and every day to pick up some morsel of information.

  1. Watching Repeats of Predators Games and YouTube Highlights

You’ve seen every single official video from the Preds, “Beneath the Ice”, The Opening Laser Show, Gnash’s “Hitting the opposing fans with a pie skits” and on and on.  You’ve even watched the Barry Trotz Goodbye Press Conference over and over but see Symptom #4 above.  That one definitely causes excessive crying.  You’ve watched every game that you DVR’d from last year’s playoffs against the Blackhawks more than once. That’s pretty depressing too.  However, you cannot stop watching. That’s all you do in your free time.  You watch Preds videos on YouTube, or worse, the NHL Network.  When will this all stop!?!

  1. Insomnia Every Night

Your sleep habits are terrible. Your mind is constantly running.  Would they possibly trade Shea Weber?  Can Cody Hodgson turn it around in Smashville?   Are they really going to put those stupid ads on the jerseys?  Are Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood really happy together?  You can’t sleep; all you hear is Tim McGraw singing I Like it, I Love it, I want some of it!” over and over in your head.  You are up all night on Twitter, waiting for the next little bit of Predators news. You are afraid you might miss something and you lose sleep over it.

The Cure

So how do we cure this?  Well, we hate to tell you but there really is no cure. All we can do is treat the symptoms until early in October when it should all go away.  Until then a bit of PredLines.com should do the trick. Get up in the morning, and take a look or two. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and tell your friends what you’ve learned!  That should at least get you through the worst of it.

We are glad we could be of service, the bill is in the mail. Don’t worry, as long as you’ve met your deductible it won’t hurt too much.  We would also like to thank Dr. Sammi Silber from over at Oil On Whyte who consulted on this case. You may get a bill from their office too!

Next: Ryan Ellis: Preds Hidden Defenseman

More from Predlines

Home/Editorials