Nashville Predators Withdrawal: Second Opinion

Empty net at SAP Center. Mandatory Credit: Neville E. Guard-USA TODAY Sports
Empty net at SAP Center. Mandatory Credit: Neville E. Guard-USA TODAY Sports /

The Nashville Predators season will come, it just SEEMS like forever.

The Nashville Predators Excitement Meter is moving toward the Danger Zone and we are still in July.  We have never seen this much excitement about a hockey team in Smashville during the summer months.

Related Story: Preds Expectations at All Time High

We know that we are drastically suffering from Predators Withdrawal and figured that a few of our fans might be too.  The really scary thing is that we went to a Hockey Doctor about this last season but it didn’t start until about the beginning of September.  It is only JULY!

Perhaps you saw the diagnoses last year but we decided to go to a different Hockey Doctor this year as the symptoms are coming so early.

must read: Predators Withdrawal Signs and Symptoms

The symptoms are much the same as last season, hives, hallucinations, crying and insomnia but they are much worse this year and have come on quite a bit sooner.  Last year we went to Medical Doctor who gave us some cream and pills and a huge bill but it really didn’t help much.

With that in mind, we went to a different kind of doctor this year that we found on the Internet. He said on his website that he was a Hockey Withdrawal Specialist.  We aren’t sure what school you go to for that specialty but we were pretty desperate.

He was very nice, did his diagnosis over the phone and accepted PayPal for the session.  What more can you ask for, right?  We didn’t even have to leave the comfy couch that we’ve been lying in the fetal position recently.

Anyway, his diagnosis is a 10-Step Program.  He says when we get through this, we will be fine. Here is the program for you:

  • Find A Replacement Sport to Watch – You were only watching Nashville Predators games for about three hours a night anyway.  Have you tried to get through the excitement of Women’s Softball yet?  We actually tried watching an Arena Football game between the Cleveland Gladiators and the Los Angeles “KISS”. We aren’t making this up, folks.
  • Take Up a New Sport – Golf takes about four hours but can really be frustrating.  How about Disc Golf or Corn Hole? Better yet, there are some competitive Kickball and Volleyball leagues around. Be warned, though, there is a lot more movement in those than just jumping up and down at a Hockey Game.
  • Origami Paper Folding – There are lots of “Origami for Dummies” books on the internet.  It will give you something to do with all of those used game tickets and old programs that you can’t really remember why you were keeping around anyway.
  • Follow Politics – If you thought that sports are political…hey there is a Presidential Election going on.  Supposedly it’s between a woman and a man that can’t say enough bad things about each other. Sounds more like watching old “Married…With Children” reruns but who knows it might be fun.
  • Build a Hockey Puck Checker Board – A Checker Board is 8 x 8 squares and they need to fit 3 inch Hockey Pucks so let’s see, that would be, uh…  Hey, how about if you go to Cracker Barrel and buy one of theirs, at least you could paint the Hockey Pucks Blue and Gold. Then just find a fellow fan to play three-hour games of hockey three times a week.
  • Turn Your TV Room into a Predators Man Cave

    – Start by painting two walls Blue and two walls Gold.  Then you can dig into your hockey paraphernalia and find a Nashville Predators pennant and Smashville Towel to hang. You may even want to purchase a new

    P.K. Subban

    jersey to encase in a frame and put up there.

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  • Watch Hockey Movies – Sure you’ve seen them, but they will still pass the time.  Let’s see, there is “Slapshot”, “The Mighty Ducks One, Two, Three”, etc., “Miracle”, “Goon”.  Who knows, there may be enough to get you through until October.
  • Build a Hockey Countdown – Stack beer or soda cans in a pyramid, (there are currently 87 days until that first tilt with the hated Blackhawks).  They every day you can take one down and pass it around…well you get the idea.
  • Spend More Date Nights With Your Honey – That might not be so bad and you can win a whole bunch of points that you may need later, like when the season starts. Make sure that you emphasize that this is an off-season thing that probably won’t last once October hits.
  • Read More PredLines – This just goes without saying.  There are currently a little over 2,515 PredLines articles out there on the Internet.  By the time you get through with them, the start of the season will be about here.
  • We hope that does it for you, It is certainly a hard thing to get through. If you go through the steps, the season will be here before you know it.  Best of luck.

    Next: Preds Officially Introduce Subban

    One thing for sure is that there are plenty of other citizens of Smashville suffering from the same thing.  Perhaps you can commiserate together.